Zip-Tied To The Car Handle
This person got exactly what they asked for when they tried to park in two locations at the same time: a shopping cart zip-tied to their door handle. Because no one is ever equipped to remove a zip tie from anything, this person most certainly drove the shopping cart all the way home. Please accept my apologies.
The Christmas Thief
When this person’s Christmas decorations were taken from their front lawn, they did the only reasonable thing they could think of: they hung new “decorations” directly from the surveillance camera, complete with the thief’s face! Christmas greetings!